Rants Of A Single Guy!!!

A very good article about the rants of a single guy...very funny and very much practical...a good read..
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I am a nice guy. Or so my female friends tell me. I'm a nice, helpful,generally likeable guy. So nice in fact that once a year, during thatwonderful festival called Raksha Bandhan when we Indians celebrate thatbond between a brother and sister, you will find me hiding under a table,or if that's not safe enough, under a chair, whimpering in fear, andblithering like an idiot. (A lot of people feel that is exactly what I am,but let's not get into that now.)

A close friend of mine once said to me (and this was a girl who I had beencontemplating proposing marriage to), "I wish I had a younger brother likeyou." I mean, how is a man supposed to react to a statement like that? Ithink women use such statements to see how men respond to situations ofextreme stress. It's probably some kind of experiment in psychology. And women go along with it simply because, you know, they are women.

Talking about the strange things women have said to me, this is one of myfavorites: "You remind me of my dog." Meaning, I assume, that I walk on allfours, have long flappy ears, and prefer to relieve myself in front of awater hydrant. I wonder if anyone would want that kind of person as his orher younger brother.

So, as you would have guessed by now, I am single. I am a single, nice,helpful, generally likeable guy. Who reminds women of their dog.

And I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a singlewoman. A single woman is like Schrödinger's cat. (For thenot-so-technically-inclined, Schrödinger was a physicist. The sadist thathe was, he used a poor little cat to teach quantum physics. He hypothesizeda cat in a box, with an arrangement such that as long as the box wasclosed, the cat could be either dead or alive. But the moment you openedthe box to check, a poisonous gas would be released killing the catinstantly -- if it had been alive in the first place. For more details,type "Schrödinger's cat" in Google.)

Women are like that. Until you bother to find out whether they are singleor not, they could be either. But the moment you get curious... bang,they're single no longer. It is normally between the first and third weekof my acquaintance with a girl that I'm given this glorious piece of information.

"Hey, I have something to tell you. I'm getting engaged next week, and Iwant you to come to the party." Ahem.

"Guess what? I'm getting married next month! Aren't you overjoyed?" Yes, ofcourse. I'm so happy I have tears in my eyes.

Once, I was talking to a girl on the phone, and we were interrupted whenshe got a call on the other line. She came back on line a couple of minuteslater with the words "Oh, I'm sorry about that. That was my boyfriend."

Your what?And you know another thing? Somehow, I inspire this unprecedented amount oftrust in women. I'm considered completely harmless! Not only by the women,but even their boyfriends, fiancés and husbands!

"Oh, you're with him? Fine. Have a nice time."

"You want to take a walk on the beach? I'm a little busy. Why don't youtake him along?"

"It's Valentine's day. The poor guy must be alone. Why not call him overfor lunch?"

I guess I've earned that reputation over a long period of time, but still,you know. Sometimes you wish the guys would feel just a little bit threatened.

And it's not like I look harmless either. The following incident is afavorite example:

I was at an Archie's gallery. This was the time when they had that stuffedmonkey on sale. You know, the one that whistled every time you crossed itspath. The kind of whistle that a guy might make when a good-looking girlwalks by. So the monkey was on display in one of the aisles, and the firstfive minutes that I was there, it must have been triggered about 15 times.Gets quite irritating, really. After that, for a few minutes, there was noone in the shop, and I had some peace. Then a girl walked in, and sooncrossed the path of the monkey. The monkey whistled dutifully. And out ofcuriosity, with a big smile on my face for some reason, I turned to see whothe monkey had whistled at. At exactly the same moment, the girl turnedaround, to see who had whistled. If looks could kill, she would have wipedout an army. Fifteen seconds later she had left the shop. I must thank mylucky stars she didn't slap me, or have me beaten up by the moral brigade.But I think you understand what I'm trying to say. Which is, that I don'tlook all that harmless. So, why the loads of trust?

They also tell me that I'm easy to talk to. That is probably why I'm one ofthe first people a girl would tell her secret crushes to. None of whichever include me, of course. But I think you must have guessed that. As youcan imagine, I attend most weddings as a friend of the girl.

But I take solace in the fact that I'm not the only one. Look at the twomen currently heading our government -- our esteemed Prime Minister, and our President. They are both single. With any luck, I'll do better than them. I hope... :-)

I am a nice guy. Or so my female friends tell me. I'm a nice, helpful,generally likeable guy. So nice in fact that once a year, during thatwonderful festival called Raksha Bandhan when we Indians celebrate thatbond between a brother and sister, you will find me hiding under a table,or if that's not safe enough, under a chair, whimpering in fear, andblithering like an idiot. (A lot of people feel that is exactly what I am,but let's not get into that now.)

A close friend of mine once said to me (and this was a girl who I had beencontemplating proposing marriage to), "I wish I had a younger brother likeyou." I mean, how is a man supposed to react to a statement like that? Ithink women use such statements to see how men respond to situations ofextreme stress. It's probably some kind of experiment in psychology. And women go along with it simply because, you know, they are women.

Talking about the strange things women have said to me, this is one of myfavorites: "You remind me of my dog." Meaning, I assume, that I walk on allfours, have long flappy ears, and prefer to relieve myself in front of awater hydrant. I wonder if anyone would want that kind of person as his orher younger brother.

So, as you would have guessed by now, I am single. I am a single, nice,helpful, generally likeable guy. Who reminds women of their dog.

And I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a singlewoman. A single woman is like Schrödinger's cat. (For thenot-so-technically-inclined, Schrödinger was a physicist. The sadist thathe was, he used a poor little cat to teach quantum physics. He hypothesizeda cat in a box, with an arrangement such that as long as the box wasclosed, the cat could be either dead or alive. But the moment you openedthe box to check, a poisonous gas would be released killing the catinstantly -- if it had been alive in the first place. For more details,type "Schrödinger's cat" in Google.)

Women are like that. Until you bother to find out whether they are singleor not, they could be either. But the moment you get curious... bang,they're single no longer. It is normally between the first and third weekof my acquaintance with a girl that I'm given this glorious piece of information.

"Hey, I have something to tell you. I'm getting engaged next week, and Iwant you to come to the party." Ahem.

"Guess what? I'm getting married next month! Aren't you overjoyed?" Yes, ofcourse. I'm so happy I have tears in my eyes.

Once, I was talking to a girl on the phone, and we were interrupted whenshe got a call on the other line. She came back on line a couple of minuteslater with the words "Oh, I'm sorry about that. That was my boyfriend."

Your what?And you know another thing? Somehow, I inspire this unprecedented amount oftrust in women. I'm considered completely harmless! Not only by the women,but even their boyfriends, fiancés and husbands!

"Oh, you're with him? Fine. Have a nice time."

"You want to take a walk on the beach? I'm a little busy. Why don't youtake him along?"

"It's Valentine's day. The poor guy must be alone. Why not call him overfor lunch?"

I guess I've earned that reputation over a long period of time, but still,you know. Sometimes you wish the guys would feel just a little bit threatened.

And it's not like I look harmless either. The following incident is afavorite example:

I was at an Archie's gallery. This was the time when they had that stuffedmonkey on sale. You know, the one that whistled every time you crossed itspath. The kind of whistle that a guy might make when a good-looking girlwalks by. So the monkey was on display in one of the aisles, and the firstfive minutes that I was there, it must have been triggered about 15 times.Gets quite irritating, really. After that, for a few minutes, there was noone in the shop, and I had some peace. Then a girl walked in, and sooncrossed the path of the monkey. The monkey whistled dutifully. And out ofcuriosity, with a big smile on my face for some reason, I turned to see whothe monkey had whistled at. At exactly the same moment, the girl turnedaround, to see who had whistled. If looks could kill, she would have wipedout an army. Fifteen seconds later she had left the shop. I must thank mylucky stars she didn't slap me, or have me beaten up by the moral brigade.But I think you understand what I'm trying to say. Which is, that I don'tlook all that harmless. So, why the loads of trust?

They also tell me that I'm easy to talk to. That is probably why I'm one ofthe first people a girl would tell her secret crushes to. None of whichever include me, of course. But I think you must have guessed that. As youcan imagine, I attend most weddings as a friend of the girl.

But I take solace in the fact that I'm not the only one. Look at the twomen currently heading our government -- our esteemed Prime Minister, and our President. They are both single. With any luck, I'll do better than them. I hope... :-)

A FEW PEARLS OF WISDOM !!!

It isnt everyday that we find the time to reflect upon life and comprehend where we are headed in our life's journey...The following few quotes have guided me in becoming what I am today and what I yearn for in life...though it is not complete as there are more to it...these are just a few...

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the
air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're
keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a
rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four
balls family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you
drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked,
damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must
understand that and strive for balance in your life."
How?

* Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is
because we are different that each of us is special.
* Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you
know what is best for you.
* Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to
them as you would to your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
* Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past
or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all
the days of your life.
* Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is
really over until the moment you stop trying.
* Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this
fragile thread that binds us to each other, together.
* Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we
learn how to be brave.
* Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find
time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to
lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to
give it wings.
* Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've
been, but also where you are going.
* Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel
appreciated.
* Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you
can always carry easily.
* Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: That's
why we call it "The Present."
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On this note I would like quote a few lines from the famous Robert Frost's poem 'STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING' ...

" The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. "

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A WHIFF OF REALISATION AND DREAMS...

Just when I was gaining confidence that I was going good in my project...understanding the nitty-gritties of this monster mainframe system, juggling with JCL,Cobol,VSAM etcetera... a new project has arrived and I have been put into it... The domain is really good(Securities-stock markets,equity...all those stuff)... its a challenging project ... with plans of starting from scratch with a newly devised system that has to be put into place...a new challenge ... a new chance ... a new beginning ... the very short period I have been in the IT arena learning to be a galdiator... i have just watched the sensitivity and dynamicity with which things take new shapes and end-up altogether different than what was proposed to be...There is only one constancy in this..and that is 'CHANGE' ... it requires u to be alert , positive and a perfectionist to the core... u never know where u r going in this... once u r in a domain u feel that the other domain are really lucrative and when u come out of ur existing one...u feel u r out of a very good opportunity...one thing i have learned and wud like to tell u guyz if u r reading this is .. dont ever go for the likeness of a single domain..u may get it or u may not get it...

But remember one thing that this world spins on money and whatever day-to-day activities that happens in this fast-changing world is out to generate more of the 100's, the 200's , the 500's bills ... and also as a software professional u r privileged enough to earn some extra bucks than ur counterparts in other arenas... yes the added charm that u r enjoying life to the fullest and u have a global view on the problems at hand...u gain a cold confidence that ... yes boss ... this is my life... and am living life king's size...with a vibrant culture and a feel-good factor...

So i have gained this insight ... no matter what technology or what domain u r in ... all it matters is ur creation... a product from ur mind ... ur design in action and how it is being used by other entities...its all abt a feeling that reverberates inside u --- I KNOW HOW THE WORLD WORKS AND I KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT WORK --- face the world with confidence and belief that u well-equipped to do so, the world respects u....ah yes...apart from all these biz-extravaganzas...there is something called being urself...an identity which has given u an uniqueness and a feeling upon which ur cosmic existence is in being...DARE TO DREAM ... & FOLLOW IT ... doesnt matter u win or lose ... thats a part of the game...what matters is at the end of the day u should be able to tell urself ... Yes I followed my dreams...b'coz i believed in them and myself...after all thats what life is all abt... u only have one life and one chance to achieve whatever u wanted in life ... right...so never ever turn away a chance to do what u might never do at all in ur life...

And as i wake up from this siesta...a strong reality hits me that i need to rush to my apartment and prepare food for tonight...the hunger demon is striking !!!...i need to quiten it and make it wait for a couple of hours more...but yes all the 'data' which i have given above happen very spontaneouly in life...so live for today...and look forward for tomorrow and savour yesterday...never have any regrets in life and try to be a good human being, good friend,good brother,a good son, a good lover ... well the list goes on ...

Special moments in my life :-)