The Rookie's next calling

Mood: Thoughtful
In the background: NUMB - Linkin Park
Location: My workstation

How many times have u felt its time to draft the next blue-print for success. But the demands of a DAY gives u no time to have ur world-class thought processes into motion. And lo behold right in the middle of a so-called 'busy' day u just have to strike that break-through moment, where u start thinking from the ground up towards ur next big GOAL. Dont care whether u have sh*t-loads of work and a dead-line to meet. For God's sake, u r not going to die after 'THE DEADLINE'. PM/PL ???... Who ??? Project Delivery .... What???

The thoughts synchronise into a nice flight and complete d big-picture that I want to see. Being a Rookie helps. Keeps u from behaving like 'Mr.Know All'. After all there will always be something to pursue in life. I guess u have to just visualise urself achieving it and go after it. The Rookie always finds himself in uncharted territory and learns to master the this vitriolic horizon. At the end of it he no longer remains a Rookie, he has become d master.

But again, as they say 'ONCE A ROOKIE, ALWAYS A ROOKIE'. The master again finds new unexplored horizons where he wants to establish himself from a fresh rookie to a master in the new-found land. He scratches d surface for new challenges, new opportunities, new ways of living life and devises strategies for d new game-plan. Yes, he is not always victorious, but the
very fact that he strived to become a master is enough for this battle-hardened warrior to lead a 'CARPE-DIEM' life.

I wake up from my trance with a deep breath. This afternoon siesta has brought in a sense of deja-vu. The body-language transforms into an upbeat one. The setting sun outside the window calls for a cup of coffee and a new process that needs to be established in the coming weeks. After all, this rookie has found his next calling.

To quote Frost,"Miles to go before I sleep". [Dont mind I keep using this ... I guess thts what keeps me going on !!!]

Working on a few blogs rite now!!!

Its been a while since i blogged. I am working on a couple of blogs rite now. Will upload them as soon as i finish them. In case if u have stumbled upon my blog by mistake or by recommendation or who cares??? , plz remind me reg. this. U see am a LAZY guy, I need to b constantly reminded that i am cared for, admired, loved , blah blah !!!. NEways do feel free to leave ur comments behind. :-)

TIME is the MASTER

Sometimes I jst wonder how much time I spend(or kill !!!) doing things aimlessly or just attempting to do things that I know I wont be able to complete ... sometimes I just sit simply staring at the monitor thinking abt what I shud do...reminds me of the Cranberries song - 'ZOMBIE' ... sometimes I just watch the sprinkling of activities here at the workplace... ppl who r busy, some who r tensed, some who r deeply engrossed in their 'Analytical Thinking', and thr r some who r ... (u guessed it ...!!!) just looking around to see what others are doing... one of them just waves at me and asks 'Hey wht r u doing now ?' ... A**hole i am doing the same thing that u r doing right now...Huh..the travails of the empty mind ... I ping the guy who sits behind me for chatting... seems like he is busy in criss-crossing his view from the top to bottom of the screen...

A FLASH of events shake me up... the events just before the university exams... every second counted then ... ways to 'extract' time were being invented almost daily...some gys used to memorize the whole reading while sleeping... wonder whether they were dreaming or mumbling the whole night...

How things have changed... It seems like I have all the time in the world to KILL... I ALSO HAVE ALL THE DREAMS IN THE WORLD TO PURSUE... and in an instant i feel i have so less time to even think abt these things... the PRE_UNIV_EXAMS_DAYS r back... a sense of overwhelming gratitude comes to the fore that again I will be busy...i will again discover new ways of extracting time... new ways of concentrating upon things which now I feel I am jst struggling to offer a glance...

NEways its time again I resume my blogging with renewed vigour... its time again to admire the night sky and feel happy that a small insignificant part of the universe has dreams that even surpasses the whole universe...after all TIME is the master!!!

Ode to the Nice Guys

U usually hear all the stuff about how girls pour out their hearts to boys(their friends...) about their break-up(with their Boyfriends ofcourse ), wht they did the whole day(right from telling the stuff they saw on TV and even describing it)...and the poor guy has to put up with all these things with a smile and also make his friend(THE GAL!!!) happy...>>>BEEN IN THIS CLUB FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS<<< ... NEways found the following blog from a Homo Sapien of the Fairer Kind ... Read on...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. For more read here....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Need girls who can listen to us 'NICE GUYS!!!'

Jst squeezed out some time to jot down a few lines!!!

Well its just that I am going gr8 guns in my career... am glad abt it... right now in the middle of a critical project ... many more such modules coming in the next few months... its that phase of time that I am finding a new me and feeling brand new 'Insecurities' and also new Affirmations that after all this is me and I make my own destiny... In short I am now doing what I had planned out to do (Gr8 achievement...NAH!!!) ... well I am jst sailing in life... (earlier I was waiting for some tide to come in...HA HA )...

BTW just saw FORREST GUMP on dvd for the umpteenth time(still maintains the freshness & vividness :-) ) ...completed 2 chapters (and have also started implementing) from 'SEE U @ THE TOP - Zig Ziglar' ...I still read TINKLE (cant help it u know... i just feel so delighted @ the sight of it)... well thts it... time to go to my flat right now... (its almost past midnight...I heard a ghost haunts the big tamarind tree on the way to my apartment !!!)... C YA<<>>

Gone are the days....Evergreen Memories...

This is a lovely post. I was planning to post it a long time back bt cudnt do it. Today somebody else forwarded this to my mail. Brought back clear memories of a time not so long ago... the tests, the friends, the girls, the cricket matches, the disappointments, the gossips, the dreams, the feelings... of School Days... I can go on... NEways lemme revel in those wonderful moments again while u go thru' the following ... Surely will bring back a smile to ur lips .. SAVOUR IT!!!

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Evergreen Memories...

Gone are the days
When the school reopened in June, and we settled in our new desks and benches.

Gone are the days
When we queued up in book depot, and got our new books and notes.

Gone are the days
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

Gone are the days
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and Progressed to fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips.

Gone are the days
We began drawing with crayons and evolved to Colour pencils and finally sketch pens.

Gone are the days
We started calculating first with tables and then with Clarke's tables and advanced to calculators and computers.

Gone are the days
When we chased one another in the corridors in intervals, and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat.

Gone are the days
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.

Gone are the days
When all the colors in the world, Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays.

Gone are the days
When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.

Gone are the days
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats, And Neckties and socks rolled into balls.

Gone are the days
When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun, While others simply played "book cricket" in the Confines of Classroom.

Gone are the days
Of fights but no conspiracies, Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.

Gone are the days
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast, in the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.

Gone are the days
When few rushed at 3:45 to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus.

Gone are the days
While few others had "Big Fun", "pulippu muttai", "gulfi ice", "seeval ice !" and "pepsi !" at 4o Clock.

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day, and the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most enjoyed holidays after them.

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when we spent almost the whole year writing revision tests.

Gone are the days
We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost, we laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.

Gone are the days
With so much fun in them, so many friends, So much experience, all this and more.

Gone are the days when we used to talk for hours with our friends.
Now we don't have time to say a HI.

Gone are the days when we played games on the road.
Now we code on the road with laptop.

Gone are the days when we saw stars shining at night.
Now we see stars when our code doesn't work.

Gone are the days when we sat to chat with friends on grounds.
Now we chat in chat rooms.....

Gone are the days where we studied just to pass.
Now we study to save our job

Gone are the days where we had no money in our pockets and fun filled on our hearts Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart

Gone are the days where we shouted on the road.
Now we dont shout even at home

Gone are the days where we got lectures from all.
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....

Gone are the days But not the memories, which will be Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and Ever and ever and.....

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, DONT FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS. IT WON’T BE THERE FOR EVER.

Why I am leaving my company!!!

This was a mail which was forwarded to me today. It depicts a guy's experiences in a top IT company both good and worse and how a true winner for life let down the offer to join the best B-School in the country to be in the company just because he felt he could emerge as a better manager in the company than if he was in the B-School. He has just let out his feelings and opinion known on the eve of his exit from the company.

I just posted it because it depicts a little bit from my own professional life though I have just started out in my quest to be a gr8 IT professional(Its been 15 months !!!) AND incidentally the organisation I have started out my career is the same one from which the guy has exited... SATYAM ... Read On.... its a wonderful read if u wanna reach the top and fight the bureaucracies that is plaguing many young IT professionals.... am still learning the curves of corporate-dom and this 'mail' has really enlightened me....

NEways happy reading !!!
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Dear Fellow Satyamites,
When I walk out the door today, I would have completed just over 62 months in Satyam, 48 months of that with SFI ( 6 months in SFI-IS Maintenance, 10 months with SFI-IDC offshore and 32 months at SFI Onsite). Why all this information? So that you may better appreciate what I want to say now. What follows in this mail are the feelings with which I am leaving Satyam after having given it five years from the prime of my youth. It is gonna be long, I warn you, so read it only if you are interested in hearing what I have to say. And kindly note that almost all of my references to Satyam are applicable mainly to the State Farm account.

"Why are you leaving?" - This is the question that I had fielded umpteen number of times in the past two months. I would love to say that my career in Satyam has motivated me so much that I now want to reach farther and achieve more. But nothing could be further from the truth.

So what is the truth? After graduating from IIT-Kharagpur in June 1995 and doing a couple of odd jobs around the country for an year, I finally settled with Satyam in April 1996 because of the promise of a fast track career in a growing company. My first two years in Satyam have been everything that I dreamed of - I saw my career progressing just the way I wanted. I was a team member, an ML and then a PL within two years. I was very happy with my job. So happy in fact, that I turned down my admission at the IIM, Bangalore to continue with Satyam. My then PM convinced me of a wonderful future in Satyam. Even though I didn't get promoted as I wanted, that didn't bother me much as I was doing something I really loved (and I hope my team liked me too - as there are so many of them here at SFI now). I figured that if the IIM can make me a management trainee in two years, I can become a real manager in Satyam in those two years. That was in March 98, fast forward three years to March 2001 and surprise, I am still sitting at my desk, coding programs and reporting to a totally incompetent, confused and clueless person. And that, my dear friends, is why I am leaving Satyam - no career growth, not even the promise of a growth. The moment an opportunity shows up, and my hopes of a promotion or growth start rising, they are squashed mercilessly by someone who has "Oh! so many years of experience". Correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn't ability, knowledge and skill be the criteria here?

The first person I met after joining Satyam was Mr. Ramalinga Raju (actually he was the third person - the first two being U.Balaji and Mala Vidyanathan, but it sounds more dramatic this way). In his welcome speech, which was very invigorating and motivating by the way, Mr. Raju promised that if we performed well we will be rewarded fittingly. His address was followed up by Mr A.S.Murthy who said that only performance can advance us in this company. I was young then and I believed those words. I wonder if they remember them. Because now, after working my butt off for the past five years, I realize that what advances you in this company is your age, how many years of exp you have under your belt (doesn't matter if that exp is shouting at labor in a cigarette plant or growing a paunch in a govt office or even, maybe, tossing burgers at a McDonalds). Capability and Initiative are two bad words when it comes to promotions and incentives. If you want to grow, it doesn't matter if you suck at your job, what matters is how well you suck-up to the powers that be.

Before I started writing this mail, I promised myself that I will not mention any names. If by chance, a name or two slips by, please ignore - OK!. This is not intended to be a personal vendetta, I just want to give some feedback about how I see things happening around me - just my viewpoint, only mine, in the hope that it will make people think about it and maybe even initiate some discussion for the betterment of everyone. Also, please do not confuse this with cribbing. I am not. I am leaving and I have nothing to gain or lose if this letter is taken seriously or thrown in the thrash can.

I don't know exactly when things started going wrong, but the work environment in Satyam-SFI has steadily gone from "Really Great" to "Down in the Dumps" - both at Onsite and Offshore. When I look around I see a cess-pool of internal-politics, power-grabbing and greed. This is definitely not the Satyam I joined. Satyam was about 500 strong when I joined and today it is a force to reckon, with thousands working around the world and the total employee figure racing to get into five digits. Growth has different ways of changing a company....

Go and visit Satyam.com and you will read about a lot of wonderful things like "See-through Company", "Open Door Policy", "Performance Oriented" etc, etc. However, I regret to inform you all that I do not see these anywhere around me. Instead, what I see is almost quite the opposite. There is no room for dissent. No policy is open for questioning or even discussion. Favoritism is rampant and factors other than professional skills and capabilities seem to have a higher importance while taking decisions. I can quote scores of examples to prove my point. From little things like vacation time and to big things like promotions, every where there seem to be bias and personal preferences. Someone has a genuine need to go to India but cannot get any additional vacation time other than what is accrued, while the boss's chamchas seem to get enough vacation with loss-of-pay to enjoy themselves. Someone gets a bad feedback from the client and is released from the account so fast that he must have felt his ass was in a time-wrap. Another person gets similar (if not worse) feedback, but being in the boss's good-graces that person has nothing to fear and is conveniently shifted to another area. Someone slogs like hell all year and hopes for a promotion but is denied because there is nothing "extra-ordinary" in what he did or he didn't complete the mandatory "two-years" (where the hell did that come from??). But another suck-up is promoted, without the two-years or without the extra-ordinary performance, because there was a "need" for it. And in case you are wondering what that "need" is, the Boss doesn't have to answer to you.

I can tell you many more stories, and some may make you shake your head in dis-belief. Like this PM who promotes and prefers married people because they have a family to feed and because married people are more dependable (how??, someone please explain me). So if you are skilled and top of your line but unmarried, then too bad for you. And then there is this person who won't promote you because he doesn't want to answer the others who may ask about it. He agrees that you deserve a promotion, mind you, and is very sympathetic about it, but won't do it because he is scared what others might say. How do you like that? Some consolation, huh? I can go on, but I am sure you all get the general drift.

So if things were so bad what was I doing here for so long. Well, things weren't always like this and it isn't as if I didn't have opportunities to get out. But "Hope", my friend, is what kept me going and tied me to this place. Never under-estimate the strength of hope. It made me suffer more than two years of negligence here. I stuck here thinking that every dog will have its day. But seems that either I am not a dog, for I haven't had my day yet, or I've already had my day and didn't even realize it - boy, I can be such a dumb dog sometimes. The inertia, complacence and the innate human need for security and comfort made a powerful combination when added to the hope and that power held me here. Bloomington is a very easy and comfortable place to live in, so easy that it dulls my senses and competitive edge. When I look back at what I was three years back and what I am now - a fat, overweight, unhappy, complaining slob - I feel ashamed for having let myself degenerate like this.

So, I am doing something about it. And getting out of this rut is my first step in the right direction. It is understandable if a married person, with a wife and kids and maybe parents to support, thinks about security and compromises with his work environment. But there is no excuse for a free bird like me to lie cooped up like this. And it has only frustrated me beyond all imagination, to the point that I even considered taking the next flight home and take to farming. The only thing that kept me here is my desire to beat this situation, just as I beat all the obstacles I faced in my life and to emerge stronger. And of course, the cars. If there weren't so many wonderful cars in this country, and if I weren't so crazy about them, my decision would have been much more easier. I am now in a very fortunate situation to have admission offers from three of the top ten Management Schools in the world from three corners of the globe, really. And whichever one I chose to attend, I am sure I will have many more opportunities available to me than Satyam can ever hope offer and, hopefully, they will also be better. My only regret is that Satyam has no use for me. And I wonder how many more frustrated individuals like me are here, waiting for their time to quit.

So what is the solution? The same thing that I have been saying for the past three years. Take feedback from subordinates and peers before promoting any one to the next level. When I put this suggestion to Mr. A.S.Murthy during one of his visits to SFI, he said that it is not possible to implement at the current stage of organizational restructuring, but that they are looking at something like that down the road. How far down the road? It is obviously too late for me. How many youngsters have to endure the stress and helplessness of working under an incompetent boss and see their careers going no where? I have had the opportunity to know and work with some excellent persons in Satyam and I've had an equal opportunity to suffer under imbeciles. Believe me, nothing beats the pleasure of working for a dynamic and competent boss and nothing sucks more that the realization that your boss is a total loser and you are stuck below him.

People find it easy to say "It is the same everywhere, why are you complaining only about Satyam". That is a very pathetic and lame excuse. Just because things are rotten at your neighbors place doesn't mean you have to put up with the stink here also. This is where you work, this is where you belong and it is your duty to clean things up. Do you let your house be in a mess just because the guy next door keeps it so? No. Why? Because you have a sense of pride and belonging about your house. This is what is severely lacking in Satyamites - especially in the middle level management where there is a lot of dead wood floating around. The top management appears committed to Satyam's growth, at least in appearances, with exciting visions, path-breaking concepts and such. The bottom seems to be strong with a vast number of engineers and programmers eager to make their career with Satyam. But the middle layer, mostly filled with drifters from other companies and career-changers and other such miscellaneous characters seem to give a hoot about Satyam. Everybody is grabbing for stock options and talking about jumping boat as soon as they encash their options. What will these people care about Satyam or its associates? A lone voice of dissent like me easily gets lost in the crowd. But when everybody takes it to heart to do something about it - something can be done.

Nobody wants to question or discuss policies in the so called "open" forums. What else are they open for then? If all that everyone has to say is "Hail Chief", then why all the talk about transparency, employee satisfaction, customer delight etc etc? We might as well throw all the policies out the window and have just one policy - "The Boss Rules". True, running a corporation isn't a democracy, but it shouldn't be a dictatorship either.

I think I just blew the basic rule of corporate employment. I burned the bridge behind me - there is no turning back now. So I might as well go all the way, right?

Just because a person has been around for ten years doesn't make him a better manager and just because someone is young doesn't make him a bad leader. All it needs to make it a better place for all of us is some compassion, a strong sense of justice and a very large supply of competent people in the middle management. As long as these are lacking in the work place, people won't trust each other and sustainable growth cannot be achieved. Why has Satyam become just another alliance for SF from being the largest alliance partner? How many can truthfully vouch that whatever growth we are seeing is solely because of the efforts of our managers and would be lost if the managers weren't there? I see Satyam only taking what comes their way and the alliance office working to keep the resources loaded. I see people wasting countless hours in meetings deliberating over totally irrelevant subjects. You know what it all sounds like - straight out of a "Dilbert" cartoon strip. Wake up guys!! we are living in a Dilbert world. If Scott Adams ever decides to make movie on his strip, Satyam at SFI would be a hands down winner for the location.

It would have been very easy - v.v.v.v.easy for me to walk away from all this without saying anything, like so many others before me. But every time somebody left I cried out loud why he or she would not express their concerns to those in higher places - higher than your boss and even your super-boss. I am not sure whether they are aware of the state of things or not, but they have nothing to lose in listening to my 2 cents.

So, I am finally leaving Satyam - about time too. Hopefully, to a place where I expect my career aspirations will be fulfilled to a much greater extent than in Satyam. Also, my time in Satyam has humbled my ego and lowered my expectations, so I do not expect much from this place that I am going to, but whatever little that I desire I am sure I can find it there.

How would I rate my experience with Satyam? The first 2.5 yrs have been great, it has been one exciting ride. The next 2.5 yrs sucked royally, thanks to you-know-whoall. But over all, the two periods break-off evenly and I am exiting with a fairly neutral opinion about the whole experience. I learned a lot, there is no question about that. And I will always be grateful to all the people who motivated me or inspired me in one way or the other - Sunil Talloo, Srinivas Moharir, Apurba, Ramana, Srini, Rama, Bharati, Bhowmik, Amit Kumar, Ratan Singh, Srihari A (and his brother whom I never met), A.S.Murthy, Ramalinga Raju, Shankar and a whole bunch of friends - too many to mention here. And I am also thankful to my detractors and my bosses for frustrating me beyond my limits of tolerance and driving me to desperation. I guess that too was a sort of negative motivation, I doubt if I would have tried so hard to get out if I had better opportunities here at SFI-Satyam.

I really would love to work for Satyam again sometime in my career - after all we (Satyam and I) shared our youth together. But not if these bunch of hypocrites are still hanging around.

Ok, I guess that is all I had to say. Seems rather vitriolic when I read it again - but that's how I feel. Do your job well, but don't forget to say your (Thursday??) prayers.

If you want to congratulate me on writing a good essay, want to curse me for the things I wrote or just want to kick my ass for having the guts to actually write and send such a mail, then you all can reach me at any of the following contact points:
e-mail - [Removed based on the author's request]
phone - [Removed based on the author's request]
address - [Removed based on the author's request]

"Its Nice to be Important, but it is more Important to be Nice." To those whom I have offended - No hard feelings. I let mine out. Hope you can too. Peace!!

Wish me luck.

Cheers.
Teja

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Standing For What You Believe In

Standing for what you believe in,
Regardless of the odds against you,
And the pressure that tears at your resistance,
. . . means courage


Keeping a smile on your face,
When inside you feel like dying,
For the sake of supporting others,
. . . means strength


Stopping at nothing,
And doing what's in your heart,
You know is right,
. . . means determination


Doing more than is expected,
To make another's life a little more bearable,
Without uttering a single complaint,
. . . means loyalty


Giving more than you have,
And expecting nothing
But nothing in return,
. . . means selflessness


Holding your head high,
And being the best you know you can be
When life seems to fall apart at your feet,
Facing each difficulty with the confidence
That time will bring you better tomorrow's,
And never giving up,
. . . means confidence


To the question of your life,
You are the only answer.
To the problems of your life,
You are the only solution.

A Typical Indian IT Professional's Story

It really smells the truth, its the case of every indian idiot who says he'd get back to india after minting money in the US typical life story of an Indian Software Professional It looks long,but is very interesting and true, and I hope you will surely like it)

The man in focus is from a middle class family, and is doing his final Year Engineering; and as any other typical engineering student has these two options as in the below IF clause:


IF fin-aid-got during final year BE
MS in US
display "Foreign MS Degree"
ELSE
Join the (campus offered) big software consulting company;
visit all continents much to the concern of those who took
the above IF logic
Display "Have made more money than you guys who did MS in US"
END IF


Our man took the ELSE clause and happily went around the globe. Learnt English customs, French cuisine, Swiss niceties, Spanish Reggae and American Dreams.

After three years plus (now a days people start at 6 months itself), decides to leave the big consultancy job and takes on a H1B. He tells all his friends "just 2 or maximum 3 years, make $10K or $20K and then come back and settle back home nicely, Ill come back, I wont be like others who settle there". He surely believes so when he says this and does not lie...

First 3 months:
Has got his SSN, managed a driving license after quite a bit of difficulty and fear; managed a second hand car; rented a decent
apartment; spending about 500 $ on phone bills calling up every friend and relative.

Next 3 months:
Finds to his shock that he has less money in bank than he had during the big consultancy trips (when he knew that he used to get peanuts and Hence lived within his means sharing a apartment and a car with 4 people and saved some money really)!! So now he starts making huge cuts in telephone bill (first he starts with his home calls and close friend calls huge cut) and is happy to see the bill cut down to 250 $.

Next 6 months:
Has some friends by now, makes some trips to Niagara (its a ritual like the Kashi and Rameswaram trip in India), New York city and White House. Experienced a winter and fed-up with his car not starting, Decides to buy a new car, feels lonely, thinks of his marriage.

Next 3 months:
Decides to call up his family about searching for a bride. Company Asks him about green card, has 2 minds, change jobs for 10 K increase, or stay content with 5K increase given by the present company.

Next 3 months:
He fixes a trip after daily hunting for the cheapest ticket, goes home (India) with quite a few gifts for his family, fixes a girl !!!
Comes back to the US in 3 weeks, as he knows he will be going back home after 6 months for marriage (Telugu guys are an exception: visit India for 3 weeks, see 15 girls, negotiate on Rs. 50 Lac (5 million rupees) + 10 acres fertile land + 2 rice mills etc., fix up the best bargain and get married in 2 days and come back; the other Indians are not so
rewarded in cash; and they will have to go back 6 months down the line for getting married.)

After 6 months:
Gets married, now he is for sure his dream of coming back in 3 years Is becoming pale !!... he has to spend 3000 $ on travel next time to go Back home; he has spent a lot in car repayment; 2 Indian trips and in gifts; now he wont go back for 2 years: meanwhile he has to get his green card any way; (so he consoles himself that circumstances forced dhim to stay rather than blaming his will power).

2 years further:
Makes a trip home, buys more gifts for the wife side relatives than his own brothers and sisters!! Calculates every dollar, but finds out to his surprise that salaries in India have grown greatly, and also the cost of everything, now his savings will buy only 1 flat in south Madras, not at Mylapore, he wont have any cash if he thinks of settling (in India); decides that he will stay in the US for another 3 years and concentrate more on saving and come back to India for good.

3 years in US:
Has kid (his mother in law came during delivery; he was worried all Along that should they fall sick, he will be gone in medical care; he prays to God more than he prayed for his School final marks or JEE/CET seat). He is a family man; thinks that if his 2 year old daughter stays in US after she is 7-8 years of age, she will have all those bad habits, so makes a plan to go back after 5 years, when his daughter would have seen the Disney Land and nicer things when she is not yet spoilt by the western culture.

4 years:
Makes a trip to India with a 20 % hope of returning to India. His Retired father with BP and diabetes and mother with heart problem are in the fore front of his thoughts. But he goes to a few companies, (His ego is a little hurt as he was working as a programmer in US, in spite of having good knowledge and had managed 10 people team in India), he expects to be appointed as a general manager; but doesn't get one; or even if he gets, compares with 70K $ and finds it peanuts, so he decides to show his parents to a doctor; asks his neighbors to look after them; and gets on a plane to the US;

5 years down the line:
His wife likes the US, and she does not have the problem of the Pestering of her mother-in-law. Halts all plans of her husband's thoughts of returning home. Wife visits India during December season, shows off and then comes back to US (While in India she talks to her relatives about her own car; kids bharatanatyam class in Denver suburbs; her relatives exclaim that they are still so Indian)....

10 years later:
Our man is in his 50's. He suddenly remembers the Indian culture. Is reminiscing in his dreams of the past about reciting ahasranama at 6 PM in the Shiva temple, the prasad at the Narayana temple, his jolly stints with his Chetak (name of a scooter/bike in India) and the coffee at the Naesey bar in front of the Consultancy services at Lloyds Road 185 office and Annapoorna at 12 Cath Road office. He wants all of them back . so goes to India (but doesn't find it and that all are not truly continuing; blames Indians for forgetting culture;) Buys a big flat; and decides to come back in 2 years;

After 2 years;
He goes back to India but not with his family; his children Sweta and Son Nikhil (nice fancy names unlike his Ramanaryanan and his friend Sivasubramanian though they were deep rooted tradition of his Ancestral names) are going to "SCHOOL" (at Michigan university, not in our terms an university; he calls it school) and are likely to get settled their with Steve and Susan respectively. He does not like it; but cant help it and so accepts it without saying anything; wife accepts it more realistically ; but still blames the circumstances (
had I got $ 70K when I passed out Engineering, would I have come here and spent 30 years here. He does not remember that rest of the Indians earned only 1165 + city allowance + DA relief of 180 rupees fifty paise when he got 3500 in Campus and got 1000 hike every 6 months in his software consultancy company).

Now in his sixties at Adyar; he goes to temple; his neighborhood flats=20, Kids are wearing American T-shirts, watching MTV. Our man is feeling bad that they are growing too Western; he passes his last days hoping his son and daughter will join him at death; (doesn't remember that he sent only get well card and made few telephonic calls using AT&T, MCI cheap rate duration's than attend to them personally, but still expects his son will come & nurse him) ... the good treatment at Malar Hospital has restored his health; now he can walk to the corner shop and negotiate coriander leaves for 50 paise spoiling the poor daily wage earners' meager earnings)...

And now our man rests in peace at an old age home !!

Be Urself...Luv ur PArents 4 who they are

Found this excellent story abt being urself and the value of ur parents in ur life and what they are to you...read on...excellent stuff...

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An old man, staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Bombay recently. The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman living with his wife and son.
The father, having spent most of his life at his birthplace, hardly understands a splatter of Hindi or English, forget Marathi. But he doesn't care. 'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family. I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he said.

But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to Bombay.He wants to make the best of it.

He and his wife want to show him around the city. And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his father go out and sit in a good bar, sipping their favourite drink.

Face off:
Last week he was in a very good mood. 'Let's go to a five star hotel's bar tonight,' he told his father. It was a beautiful evening.
Talking about everything under the sun they had a few drinks. As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc .as accompaniments with their drinks. The old man being almost toothless was not much interested in eating. But that day when they got up to leave, he simply took a handful of chana (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the fold of his dhoti. He might have thought about munching on them, sitting in the car, or whatever.
Unfortunately while walking in the lobby, he missed a step and stumbled.
Down he went, scattering the chana on the plush carpet.

No problem .Now try to visualize that scenario. Someone else in his son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward situation. 'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels', he would have vowed.

No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile, he helped his father get back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry, he was amused. He found the whole incident very funny.Laughing, they both went home and on the way they decided to return to the same place the following Sunday.

The old man liked the place. Liked the chana too.A son rises A few days back, at a friend's place they both described this event and made everybody laugh.

Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son. 'Oh, come on now'replied the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native language, prefers to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes chana from the bar to eat later, does whatever he feels like.... So what? Why should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits? Nobody has a right to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with, as long as it is not harmful to others.'

The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about that incident.

He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips. I am concerned about my father's happiness.' The wife too totally agrees with the husband on this issue. She feels there are enough other qualities in her father- in- law to feel proud of.

Accept them .The above incident is not mentioned just to show the love and devotion of a son for his father. More than love it is a matter of understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's lifestyle.

A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now. He likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine.Every body has a right to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he be forced to learn to eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to? I will feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in some harmful activities. But otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try to change him at this stage. He is my father. I love him, respect him.

Hey folks, can you think this way?

So many times we see people getting embarrassed by the so called unsophisticated behaviour of their family members. They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners or about their drawbacks to outsiders. My wife can't speak proper English; she doesn't know what's happening in the world, so I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business associates...

My parents can't eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to restaurants.... My husband is working as an ordinary clerk, so I feel awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends. My brother is mentally challenged, so I don't feel like going out with him...

Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike?

If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I feel this way?Really what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the people always have this fear of other peoples' opinions and comments.

What would others say?

They think and try to alter their own way of living. Sometimes unnecessarily. What is worse is they try to change their own people too. And when they can't, they are ashamed, angry. And apologetic to outsiders.

In fact, these are the people who have no respect for others and no confidence in oneself. They try to copy others, try to be what they are not, and constantly ask for outsiders' approval for their behaviour. They don't care about the feelings of their family members when they avoid or belittle them.

They don't think how happy his or her family member would feel if he/she gets an opportunity to go to some swanky restaurant or a fun- filled party. Your wife, mother, father, little sister, and old aunt...all those people depending on you for their happiness. If you don't fulfill their desires, who will?

They are what they are. We are what we are. We don't have to change ourselves to please strangers. And if you do, you are in for life long misery.

In that case you would never dare taking your dhoti clad relative to a five star hotel. And your father would never sit amongst your friends and laugh his heart out over some funny incident.

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An Excellent Moral

My Birthday!!!

Its my birthday today...Had a flurry of calls from Blore... u know my friends, Dad & Mom, my bro, well this is my 3rd year in succession i am not celebrating my B'Day at home...i just accept it that it wont be a special day for me as it was in Blore ... its just another day for me... just a routine of another day beckons and I feel WHAT THE HECK... SO WHAT IF I AM NOT IN BLORE, I AM GOING TO ENJOY MYSELF TO THE HILT TODAY...u know my style...another 1 adds to my age...all I can say is this has been a dazing year for me...maybe the first time ever I was confused and I realized how lazy and directionless I have been...sort of opened my eyes on my weaknesses ... good to know that I have such a passing weakness and I can overcome it with my trademark confidence and the adventurous streak in me ;-) ...

LOL !!! Its been a gr8 journey...

BTW started reading 'See You At The Top' by Zig Ziglar, a perfect book to help me to embark upon a global career.

My first 365 Days as an IT Professional

19-Jan-2004.

The day brought immense ecstacy, emotion and a sense of fulfilling achievement and an occasion that re-inforced my beliefs in myself that good things do happen in life. After months of hope, preparation and struggle here I was in Hyderabad joining Satyam Computer Services. Its been a great journey so far. 1 year has just gone in a flash and I see myself in the same vein as I was 1 yr back to this day, albeit with little strong changes...grown more professional, have a belief that "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE",prepared for anything...come what may, a smile is all what it takes to start a gr8 adventure... a journey filled with hope,optimism and a dream that begins many more such journeys... still remember those days when I used to dream that one day I will be a Software Engineer earning loads & loads of money, visit various countries, meet new people, live an enchanting life...the past 365 days have been sort of dreamy...learnt many things abt myself that I didn't knew even existed...the energy & zeal to deal with a challenging task, the meticulous planning(this was my known forte..though it became more better!!!) , my public speaking skills...WOW...i never knew I was such a good speaker...way to go buddy!!!... Staying away from home again this time much farther brought with it its own set of responsibilities and freedom... NO BOOZE... NO FAG ... NO GURLZ... Well can't say have done well in the first category... ocassionaly I do have my highs in parties with my friends out here...regarding FAG... never touched it..will never touch it again.

Well GURLZ... sometimes loneliness sets in and makes me feel... Hey C'mon Mr.Single wht the f*** r u upto..being Mr.Good?...move ur as* and start doing something abt it!!! My thoughts float towards P**** back home. Currently I have a huge crush on her. Am on Cloud 9 these days... well me and my queer thoughts ....(huh!!!) ..... But I am still open to single gurlz out there... ;-) Hey I was talking abt my professional career right!!! So here I am typing in this blog of mine abt the year that went by and the year thats going to be mine. Yes I say this b'coz I have lined up some gr8 surprises for myself and others of what I am going to achieve in the next 365 days... New Challenges, New Vision, New Hope, New Victories here I come...Come 19-Jan-2006... U guys will know and yes I will again re-inforce my beliefs in myself...Here is to a gr8 19-Jan-2005 to 18-Jan-2006...CHEERS!!!

BTW : I have completed half of 'DA VINCI CODE' ... after a long time I finally completed reading all the articlesin a Tinkle (big deal huh!!!) ... I missed out on an Astronomy programme of 3-days here at the planetarium(a rare occurence!!!) Will keep my eyes & ears open for the next opportunity... :-)

Fast approaching a D-Day!!!

19-Jan-2004 ... the date rings something of real prominence right!!! 1 year back it was my first day at the office as a Software Professional though as an amateur :-) ... it was a day I was preparing for from the past 1 month... the goals, the obstacles, the refinement, the challenges, the vision... I had left B'lore and landed in the big sprawling campus of STC(Satyam Technology Center) on the outskirts of Hyderabad. A little bit of nervousness interspersed with my confidence... It was Normal... After all I was selected in Satyam... it was a day of reckoning for me...I knew the days ahead were going to be tough, full of activity, new friends-place-life... I was prepared ... but yes I knew I will be missing some real special ppl in my life who had mattered to me most all this while...I learnt one thing 'THE ONLY CONSTANCY IS CHANGE'... the training days were excellent ..had loads of fun...the early morning trips to STC ... the constant drowsiness... the thought of cameras focusing on ur every action...it was hell lot of fun... the friends I made then... :-) ...

I wake up from my thoughts and find myself typing this blog entry in BBSR office of Satyam... Now I am farther away from home, missing my friends, family like crazy... I want to meet them and feel the comfort of their warmth... moreover add to that my single status right now :-( ... but yes there is that inherent feeling that something special is brewing in my life right now ... I am not able to make out exactly wht its all abt... but i know its something special and queerly pleasant... as always as has been my attitude - whatever it is I am going to approach it with an open mind and give my best to it... yes there are some goals which I am going to chart down very soon and go all out after those GOALS... its not just my existence that counts...wht counts is wht I do with my existence that counts..right !!! ...

Now I am just awaiting for 19-Jan-2005 which will be a checkpoint for me in life and time for me to benchmark myself against the best and prepare my strategies for life... Just wait and Watch !!!

By the Way I have started Dan Brown's 'Da Vinci Code' ... THE PLOT ... A lovely thriller expecting to complete it this month and then start either Dan's 'Angels & Demons' or Edward De Bono's 'Lateral Thinking'... Its been a gr8 start to 2005... LOL

A CHARMED EXISTENCE

I sit here in my office...listening to 'Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaaye' ... its 12:15 am ... not even a single soul in the office..am all myself...today was the first day of 2005...lots of plans to make. a determined list of resolutions to be made... dreams to be lived ... hidden emotions start coming forth...I close my eyes for a minute and experience the solitary existence I have right now...a forced smile escape my lips...Am i in the right direction...am i doing the right thing...am i being myself... lots of questions hit me one by one...I just accept them and become more strong and more determined to live my life my way...the way I have dreamt and yes to be the guy I have always wanted to be...its a never ending experience...wish I could share this with somebody...but as the saying goes...'A THING OF BEAUTY IS A JOY FOREVER' ... LIFE never ceases to amaze me... Its a celebration of existence...Its been a charmed existence so far!!!

BTW here is a snap of mine from a 'not so long ago time'

Dec-31-2004 6:57 pm

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A 'NEW' year is going to dawn in a couple of hours from now...
I sit at my workstation doing nothing, just have a gradual slow glance across the office-space and see people...people who are planning to do something tonight, ppl who have no clues as to what they will be doing tonight (/LIFE ) ... some guys going out tonight with their GFs ... There is a sea of activity going around ppl's mind right now...

As for me I dont know what I will be doing tonight (/LIFE ... Naaah...I have my goals set in life!!!)...

Yes for first time I am away from home for a new year, but the feeling hasn't sunk in yet, it is a plethora of feelings right now...all mixed up...cant explain whether its elation or depression ... So this is my state right now on the eve of new year...

BUT i am not going to make these last moments of 2004 go just like that...
SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE ABT THIS RIGHT...
Lets concoct a blue-print for a wild-bachelor party...u know...where u have this heady mix of excitement all night thru' ...

C'MON FELLAS ... LETZ ROCK THE LAST DAY OF 2004 AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THESE REMAINING 5 HOURS ;-) ... HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005...

The following lines goes out to all those special ppl who have made a difference in my life small or big:

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A gift lies before you,
a sparkling new year,
a realization of the dreams that you hold dear.

Hold out your hand;
don't be afraidto take it,
for the new year is yoursand it will be whatyou make it.

It has not a flawit's whole and it's new.
It's not justanother year,but a new worldfor you

AS ANOTHER YEAR BEGINS,
MAY IT FILL YOUR DAYS WITH PEACE,
HAPPINESS & MAKE YOUR LIFE BRIGHT

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